Blag of the Century (Shockingly Good Nike Blag Inside)

Disclaimer: First of all, I hope no-one from Nike is reading or their respective PR companies. If they are… fudge it… you would have done this too.

The blagmondo actually went down on August 25 2006, but when you read on you’ll know why it’s only now I can speak of it. Ok, so the main players of the RWD team and yours truly were at the Festival of Air with Dizzee Rascal, Jazzie B, Norris Da Boss and peeps. Oxford Circus and Niketown had never looked so good. Free drinks were flying and celebs were mingling (well when I say celebs, I mean Kelly Osborne. When I say mingling, I mean getting papped at the entrance and going STRAIGHT upstairs). [Pictured above 'Earl' from My Name Is Earl? I don't know if it's him but I took a pic anyway].

Being press, the team and I had access to the artists on the line-up to talk Nike and other such Nike-like nonsense. Why am I telling you this? Well when we went upstairs for the interviews (which later took place downstairs) we noticed an exclusive floor that was celeb-only for the night.

Ok, so I’ve done my interviews with Raskit and the others and the night is now winding down. We slowly start seeing VIPs (British runners and TV folk) holding massive Nike bags and oozing out of the premises. Now with the tremendous knowledge that there are TWO sacks of goodies, myself and my wingman Raj Kapone weren’t feeling just going home with the regular bog-standard bag (which contained a half-decent t-shirt).

After skanking to Newham Generals it swiftly ended and we found ourselves outside (due to alcohol consumption the details are limited here). Holding merely t-shirts, posters and booklets and with flashbacks of the good-goodie bags, we somehow NEEDED to get back inside and claim our prize. At first the bouncer was NOT having it!!! Imagine an 8ft 7 black dude shaking his head at you – remember if he punched me, the result would be so bad in 13 years time my first born would come out of Jada Pinkett Smith’s womb with a dent on the side of his/ her head. But somehow we grant him some slippery lyrics and draw for the blag-o-matic 3000 to gain re-entry.

Ok so people were going home or cleaning up and we’re NOT supposed to be back inside (no re-admittance and all that). Raj and I made our way to the lift and got out on the celeb-only floor – another bouncer greets us!!! How did we get past him? To tell you the truth, I don’t know. He was pretty adamant we weren’t supposed to be there and we had to leave ASAP. I remember gripping onto my press pass hoping it would help, it didn’t. I said something about, “Blah blah blah, M**** from ***** *********** told us to come up here to pick up a bag or something.” He takes our second blag-pill with a glass of milk and cookies and we’re in.

The second floor is filled with more security, Nike staff and cordoned areas. Inside one such no-access area we see computers and people designing their own trainers… Now you know where this long-arse story is going. We waltz over to the Nike iD booths and try and sit down. Before each of our cheeks reach a seat, we’re greeted by another dude who says, “Sorry guys it’s too late, we’re packing up and you have to go.” Time for the third blaggy blaggy… Raj draws for the about to cry face and we drop another sob story. This one involved us having to be there to design some trainers and we were late because of something or other. The guy explains, “Erm, I guess we can do a pair. You have 5 minutes.” We take a seat and Raj starts designing!!!!!!!!!!! The trainers came the other day… blag over!!!

Why am I so pleased that I had a major hand in blagging a pair of trainers for someone else? Cos the whole time I’m sitting here writing this story, I have a £130 pair of Nike Air Max 360 on my feet courtesy of one of Nike’s PR agencies. How did I get these trainers… that’s a whole other tale.

True stories.