Lord of the Blags - RWD & Come Again - November 2004

This prestigious title is bestowed to thee who can gain possession of an item or items above or beyond their utmost achievement without currency being exchanged. Basically... This is the name for the person who gets the best free sh*t!!!
As you know, it’s all about getting stuff for free. Whether it is expensive (diamond watch), important (getting into a club gratis) or something small (the contents of Tyson’s wallet) – as long as you can say it’s free, it’s all good.
What is Blagging?
Blagging is obtaining goods without paying (legally). Any chump can steal something, and any punk can swindle some corner shop for penny sweets. But when I say obtaining goods, I mean it. Some people out there live their lives one blag after another, these are the serious blaggers. These people blag everything from milk to mobile phone credit. Hopefully with this article YOU can be a top blagger too, and get whatever you want – I don’t think Britney Spears is susceptible to blagging though (damn).
How to do it?
It’s all about confidence really, if you have this you can blag ANYTHING! Once you have faith in yourself, say that it will work, believe you have the skills and the world will be your oyster (no, not that travel card swipe thing). If Victor (from Big Brother 5) style straight talking doesn’t work try the Jedi Mind Trick – “You ARE going to give this Mini Ipod to me, and I’m NOT going to pay”. If that doesn’t work, grab the thing and run!!!
Why?
Unless it’s a beat down, it is always good to get something for free. The feeling of using lyrical content to convince someone to hand over stuff you should be paying for is better then s..s..sunday roast (unless it’s one of those roasts with stuffing and extra trimmings).
Best places to blag
The best places to blag are restaurants and chicken shops; always ask for an extra wing, drink or even extra cheese. If you don’t get what you want, here is a way you will - Eat all but one bite of your meal, go back up to the counter and say there was a hair in your food (obviously it’s your mates – but they don’t know that).
Strangest places to blag
Earlier this year I was just about to check-in to my flight and I overheard a slightly tubby Vin Diesel look alike talking about his seat. Then he started to say how many times a month he flies on this particular airline…Then all of a sudden he was UPGRADED to a First Class seat. I was like what the fudge!!! Then I tried it myself, “err, yeah I used this airline about three months ago, any chance of an upgrade” The woman looked at me as if I was chewing gum on the bottom of her…I didn’t see her feet (she looked like a white socks and sandals chick though). Later on, as I sat down in my regular cheap seat the bald man was being served Champagne – Bitch!!!
Hardest place to blag
The hardest place to blag is definitely in record shops. The average record shop is a blagger’s nightmare. They refuse to give anything up for free. Some people (You know who you are!!!) blag on their CV’s and in job interviews. Take it from me; this is dangerous. If you put down things like you know first aid and someone from your new job starts choking on the lid of their pen – EVERYONE will look at you to save their life (and eventually you’ll be going to a funeral feeling very guilty).
And finally…
The hardest thing to do is blag money, yeah, stone cold cash. So if you want a fact sheet and top secret advice, send your email address and £5 to: Danny Walker, 5 Blag House, Blagger Street, London B1 AG