Back II Skool - RWD & Come Again - September 2004

Another personal favourite...

All through our lives we go through periods of change. from boy to man, girl to woman, famous to Big Brovaz. We often ask ourselves - What now? This is the time of year when we go through educational transitions. Like on that first day of Primary school, when you were looking round for the sand pit and the milk. In Primary school I remember the only thing to worry about was running away from the ugly kid with snot on his/her face in Kiss chase (sorry if that was you, but come on man). But as we get older, wiser, and more hairy, there are different things to face.

THE JUMP FROM PRIMARY TO SECONDARY SCHOOL

Things To Fear:
The Cussing Match - Things are getting deep these days, I remember in the day when ‘your mum’ would lead to instant armshouse. But now youngers are going on all kinds of grimy. The latest cusses on the street are brutal ranging from the simple - ‘fassy’ to more complex ones like, “Your mum used to link Gollum, but now she’s moved on to Nadia from Big Brother.”
Parent’s Evening – This is always one to fear, unless you’re a geek, sorry I mean good pupil. However if you’re a ‘troubled’ pupil, parent’s evening will be hell. A bit like getting air at a rave (init Harvey). But this can also be something to look forward to, as at least one parent will be switching on a kid. The kid could be the most ghetto yout in the endz. Until the point when his mum gives him that Steven Segal look, and tells him to fix up in class or she’ll whoop his ass. He’ll soon be quite and listen (As if it were the million pound question, without a lifeline).

Things To Look Forward To:
Socialising – Try to be as active as possible, whether this is with sport or the after school chess club. Many jokes can be obtained from such places. I know the temptation to go back to the manor and blaze mopeds is strong, but think: - If you play for the school’s football/netball team, the more lessons you’ll miss. Like when there is a tournament during double history. Also, when there is a game after school you can get out of detention – Treat that team as a get out of detention free card.
Birthday Beats, And Bundles – OBVIOUSLY, it’s not about being on the receiving end of these classic traditions. Always do some kind of style out with your parents when it’s your birthday. Bundles are always jokes, you never remember who starts them, the only thing you remember is hearing the “BUNDLE!!” and suddenly some geek is at the bottom of a pile of like 20 heads (just pray the geek ain’t YOU).

THE LEAP FROM COLLEGE TO UNI

Things To Fear:
Accommodation – If you choose to go to uni, you have the option to either move out and live in halls/a house or live at home. At home you’ll know who munched your Crunch Corner from the fridge, the main fear when away from yard is the fact that most of the time there will only be out of date milk and cereal to yam. Just remember when your lumpy milk has turned chocolaty - There was another way!
Money Issues – Uni and debt go hand in hand like Michael Jackson and his Neverland guests. The way to blank out this fear is NEVER open any letters from the bank (especially not red ones) and spend more… until your overdraft’s overdraft blows up. When the bank call you (they will) answer the phone like so… “She no here, no understandings, don’t speaké de English”.

The Things To Look Forward To:
Fresher’s Week - Even if you don’t know anyone and you have a spot the size of Abramovich’s wallet on your forehead (a real pulsating mutha), you have to reach. You WILL meet people, you WILL have fun and you WILL link someone. The Student Union – The place is sooo cheap. When was the last time you went out and got more than two drinks with a fiver…and still had change for mints? It’s the only place on the earth that you can get licked for under £3.00 (apart from a shoobs). The SU (as it’s known) is also a cool place to chill during the daytime, so drinking sessions turn from nights into days and back again. You’ll never wanna leave, just remember to leave your toothbrush in the SU toilet and that’s you!!!
Sleeping In Lectures – There is nothing better than cotchin’ in the very back of a lecture hall with your New Era down low, shielding your shut eyes, dreaming of a better place (like the Student Union).

All of these educational transitions, good or bad, mould us into better people. So when you’re next at the bottom of a bundle gasping for air, or getting in some kind of trouble after being caught snoozing, remember, have fun NOW cos after your edumacation is obtained, it will be officially time to grow up – and no one is feeling that.