Junk Email of the Month [November]: It's Me Christine

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You cannot make big returns on an oil company AFTER huge profits are reported. You also can't make them by getting in AFTER successful drilling results. Everyone needs a helping hand at getting in BEFORE the big events, and that's what we are giving you here.

Great product, great sector, tightly held, with great results expected any day. Cana Petroleum is going to make you a winner!

Symbol: CNPM
Current Price: Around $0.78
Projected Price: $5.40

Watch it on Tuesday, December 5th. This one is going to have you wearing a big smile all day long!

Major oil discovery? We are not permitted to say at this point. All we can say is that this one is going to see amazing appreciation in a very short period of time! This is your opportunity. Excel with CNPM!
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Norton takes care of about 20 of these a day. Each of them has a different name attached. I hate this email!!!

Junk Mail of the Month: October 'Hurry Up And Become A Man'

Junk emails have had enough of pussy-footing around, they have started to come with a more hardcore/ direct approach.

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Subject: Hurry Up And Become A Man

Sick of banging chicks with your small d***?

I bet they are.

If we can't help, no one can.

[The links to the DEADOUT websites have been removed]

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Can you believe the attitude on these guys?!?!? Someone should take them of the special bus, pull them to one side and tell them that this is not the correct approach. lol at their attempt though.

Junk Mail of the Month: September - Newnhot Do you wish to become multi-orgasmic?

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Let’s make our ejaculation like steel Have you ever wished to have more intense final? It’s absolutely true – just take one before start And the results will impress your girl Just take a look: [link removed] I think, yes. He who dares wins A sly rabbit will have three openings to its den.

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What are they on??? Ejaculating steel??? I’m sure women don’t want a metal rod whacked across their breasts. I wonder if anyone actually responds to these. And what is that last line about? Are they stuuuuupid?

Junk Email of the Month - August

Junk Email of the Month - August
Originally uploaded by Danny Walker 1.

Dearest...
I am delighted to write to you. My name is Mary Sandra Allen, I am sorry if this mail will come to you as an embarrassment or a surprise, I just felt like empting myself to you, after reading your profile, I decided to confide in you, as am faced with total frustration and hardship. My Ernest prayer is that you find this mail in good health and blessings. I am presently residing in Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire. I left my country with my father after the death of my mother during the war in our country and we came here because my father owned a business here,(cocoa business), during the going political crisis here which has turn out into a civil war since 2003, my father was attacked and killed here at the hit of the crisis as the rebels were...

...Secondly, my late father confided in me before his death the sum of $8.5 million dollars which he deposited with a bank here in cote d'ivoire. I will want you to help me see that this fund is transferred out of this country because of the war here. My father confided so much in me after the death of my mother...

...i will also suggest you ask the bank to provide you with a lawyer that will represent you here because am a small girl and i really dont know much about transaction. I know that this is our first mail, but I have decided to confide in you from the choice of your word on your profile. I want you to know that for years now, I have lived in absolute frustration, tires and pains without any person around me, no parent, uncles or friend, but God had kept me until now, which I believe that I will smile once again...

...Thirdly, I do not want to attach myself to you out of desperation so that I do not get used Rather I intend you helping me to see that this money as I intend living for your country to start an entire new life and complete my...

Thank you. e-mail me :

Mary

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NONSENSE!!!
Who comes up with this shite? I bet its a little spotty bald man in a little room in Nottingham. This is the longest junk email I've ever received... I had to cut it down... NONSENSE, I hope the spots on his forehead explode into his cereal. About I'm gonna give you my bank details. I tell you what I will do, I will pass YOUR details onto my Spam Protection so your email will be 'filed' immediately.

Junk Mail of the Month: I Can Be A Doctor After One Simple Call!!!

Junk
Originally uploaded by barkingmoose.

Contact us NOW to receive your diploma within days, and start improving your life!

Bachelors, Masters, MBA and/or Doctorate (PhD)
NO ONE is turned down.
Call Now 7 days a week.
1-206-984-0002

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, with the following degrees, here is how much you can expect to make in your lifetime:
High School Diploma: $1,100,000
Bachelors Degree: $2,100,000
Masters Degree: $2,500,000
Doctorate: $4,400,000

You Need a Better Degree, and we can Help! Obtain degrees from Prestigious Universities based on you life experience. NO ONE is turned down.

Call Now 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.
1-206-984-0002
Regards,
Professor. Nadine Crow

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All I can say to this month’s nonsense is LMAO… Ok let me get this straight before I wire you some money??? If I give you $4,400,000 I’ll be leading the OPEN HEART SURGERY in Newham General next week???

Sure cool

*Dials expensive long-distance number [...On RWD's bill]*

Junk email of the Month - April 2006

junkmailinabottle2
Originally uploaded by Danny Walker 1.

Junk E-mail of the Month – April 2006



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When you get at least one of these e-mails a DAY to your work address you know it’s gotta win the prestigious ‘Junk E-Mail of the Month’. I do actually respect their spamming game. They have a cheeky tag line, which just makes you want to buy whatever shit they have on offer. [Doctor] Come on!!! [/Doctor] Let’s all see how far the rabbit hole goes?????

NONSENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Junk email of the Month - March 2006

junkmailinabottle2
Originally uploaded by Danny Walker 1.

Dear member of our Dating Site,

You have 5 unread messages from ladies at our dating site, Please read them here: Best wishes to you,
Administrator
Julia

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WTF!!!

Firstly, do I look like a dude who has signed up to an online dating site with these dusty women on their books... ok don't answer that!

Secondly, MESSAGES??? Like all junk email, I never signed up to receive this shit and how did you get my email addy?

Thirdly, WTF!!!

Fourthly (can you say fourthly), you know these chicks aren’t even on that site. These are just some loose 'ladies' they Googled. The real women look just as desperate as the guys who sign up – if they didn’t THEY WOULDN’T NEED TO LINK A RANDOM GUY (WHO IS PROBABLY ON THE SEX OFFENDERS LIST) VIA SOME JUNK EMAIL NONSENSE.

Fifthly (hell, I started like this so I gotta finish), WTF!!!!!!!!!